Comforts After A Farwell
by happygirl57
Summary: Finding Sam vulnerable outside Carly's former apartment, Freddie takes her in, providing her comfort despite the fact he's hurting himself. Simple, sweet Seddie. Post iGoodbye.


**A/N: Hey guys. I've been feeling the iCarly blues lately ever since it ended so I ended up writing this. I feel like most of my childhood has officially ended. I don't really know how good (or bad) this is considering I haven't posted anything in more than two months but I do hope you enjoy this.**

**Sorry if the characters seem a little OOC but I figured them would be after Carly left.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot.**

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Samantha Puckett was just a harsh but lonely little girl who didn't know how to express her feelings.

Fredward Benson was an overprotected son and a complete tech-geek.

Spencer Shay was a law school drop-out and a crazy, free-spirited artist.

Gibby was just plain Gibby- the weird kid who constantly took his shirt off and sent off an awfully strange vibe.

That is how they were before Carly Shay came along.

But when Carly Shay first moved in with her brother, Spencer, all of their world were about to change for the better. Not that any of them knew that yet. None of them knew yet that they would one day become an inseparable group of friends. Because alone, all of them had nothing to do with each other, but with Carly in their lives, they were held together, bonding over the little they had in common.

iCarly had changed all of their lives for the better. There was always something to look forward to and to think about. When they did iCarly, it didn't matter that Sam had a good-for-nothing alcoholic mother lounging in just her bikini at home and the fact that she had never met her father seemed negligible. For Freddie, it meant that he wouldn't have to worry about his overzealous mother waiting at home with his rash medicine ready in hand despite the fact that he hadn't had a rash in years. And for Carly, it meant she didn't have to worry about her father overseas that she barely saw because he was in the army. For all of them, they could put in all their passion and hard work into a web show that had captured the hearts of millions.

When Carly moved in with Spencer and tied their little circle together, no one expected her to ever leave again. Moreover, they hadn't expected that bond they had created to break. Nevertheless, Carly Shay had changed all of their lives. She had joined a group of lost people and filled the voids in their lives which they hadn't even realized they had.

To be honest, they didn't blame Carly for leaving. They knew they would stay in contact and besides, she would be happy with her father. Sam knew that if her father asked him to spend time with her, despite her bitterness, she would say yes.

_But it wasn't fair_, she thinks. She knows that she's being selfish. But she encouraged Carly to go, so she figures she's entitled to a little selfishness.

_It wasn't fair_, she repeats in her girl that was the complete opposite of her had become her best friend over the years and she had quickly become the best thing in her life. So how could she have just been ripped away from her? A lot of things in her life weren't fair but she never complained. She always told herself that it would be okay because she has people in her life that cared about her. Namely, Carly. But now? Now, she was gone and she was left with nothing. Sure she had Freddie, Gibby, and Spencer but she knew she didn't belong with them like she did with Carly.

So as the engine of her new, not to mention generously given, motorcycle roared underneath her, she stepped on the gas pedal just as the light turned green and she returned to reality. Without realizing it, she feels sudden wetness against her cheeks and her breathing suddenly becomes heavy. Her goggles fog up, her vision becoming blurrier by the second. Attempting to blink the tears away is hopeless as she realizes that for the first time, she has nowhere to go. Her mother's apartment was a hell hole and Carly's apartment would hurt too much. But before she realized, she is making turns and slowly coming to a stop. Before her is the Bushwell Plaza.

Her mind screams at her to stop. Stop her legs from moving, her heart from racing, and her entire body from shaking. But it doesn't. None of it does. She's too impatient for the elevator so she rushes up the steps. Before long, she lands in front of Carly's... no, just Spencer's apartment. Her fingers lightly trace the door frame, reminiscing about all the times she's spent there. She remembers many years ago when Freddie dressed up as a teddy bear just to make a baby laugh. Boy, she had really tortured him that day. She swore, Carly was sometimes the only person that kept her from killing Freddie.

And, through her tears, she gives a half-hearted smile. She would miss this. She would miss all this so very much. With that thought, more tears well up in her sharp blue eyes and for once, she lets herself break down. A strangled sob escapes her quivering lips. Her back hits the wall behind her and she sits on the floor between the door and the potted plant, letting sobs wrack through her body. As much as she hates this feeling, the feeling of being weak, she can't seem to stop her crying.

Faintly, she can hear the click of a door and then it being shut. A hand touches her own, a wispy, quiet voice can be heard. "Sam? Calm down, you're going to make yourself sick." Freddie. When she doesn't respond, Freddie speaks again. "Sam, please. Look at me," he whispers, touching her chin. "Come in with me? My mom's not home," he asks her. There's a desperate plea in his voice that causes Sam to cave.

"Okay," she whispers back, wiping away the tears from her face, sniffling. She takes a longing look at his apartment and then back at Carly's, vaguely wondering how difficult this will be for him, seeing Carly's apartment everyday and knowing that she won't be there. She sighs, pushing herself off the ground.

Freddie keeps his eyes on her. He, never in his entire life, has seen Sam vulnerable. Samantha Puckett was always one to beat up guys twice her size, have them be terrified of her and now, she was outside her best friend's old apartment, broken. Her blue eyes were glazed over and her bottom lip was slightly jutting out, making the corners of Freddie's lips to curve downwards gently at the sight of it.

Stepping into his apartment brings back memories as well. They never hung out much there but when she and Freddie had dated, they had retreated there when his mother was at work.

"Would you like something to drink?" he asks.

Freddie and her had actually managed to become friends but as he asks her the question, she wonders when her relationship with him became so formal. Her body is numb of all feeling so when Freddie sets her down on the couch and leaves for the kitchen, she doesn't know how long he's been gone but when he returns, she can see him holding two steaming red mugs.

"I figured you'd like something hot after riding around on your motorcycle for so long," he tells her, handing her one of the two mugs.

She grunts but accepts it. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Why shouldn't I be?" he asks, flustered.

Sam lets the steam from her hot chocolate heat her face as she takes a small sip. "Because that's not us. That's not normal. Our normal is fighting and pissing each other off."

"Whatever. Just thought you needed someone..." Freddie huffs, leaning back on the beige sofa.

She watches him for a few moments and then resumes gulping down the rest of her hot chocolate despite it's high temperature. She wipes her mouth with the back of her black and white sleeve. "Thanks... I guess," she says quietly.

Looking around, she realizes how much she really needs to get out of here. Everything screamed 'Carly' at her and it just didn't seem fair. The zero support from her mother, the disappointment from her father, Melanie's constant pampering, never being taken care of were unfair things she could handle. What she couldn't handle was losing her best friend to her father. And in that moment she felt a sense of resentment towards Carly's father despite her respect for him, because if it weren't for him, Carly would still be here. But she knew she was being selfish. Carly missed her father and it wouldn't be fair for Sam to tear her away from her one chance to be with him. And in Italy, for God's sake! Why would she have refused?

_For me_, she thinks bitterly. She shakes her head. She was being ridiculous, she knew.

"I think..." she begins, pausing, "I think I should leave." Pushing herself off the couch, she begins to walk towards the front door.

"Sam... wait."

Sam hesitates before turning around, "Why? There's nothing here for me now. Carly's gone, you're gonna stop hanging out with me, Gibby's gonna be scared of me again and I won't see Spencer all that much 'cause Carls is gone. I'm all alone now."

Freddie steps closer to her. "Sam, that's not true. I'll always be around and so will Gibby and Spencer. Look, I know you miss her. So do I, but that doesn't mean the pain will lessen if you run away from your problems."

Looking up at Freddie, tears form at the corners of her eyes again and she sniffles. "I just miss her so much already and she only left a couple of hours ago."

Freddie puts a hand on her shoulder and when he realizes she won't kill him, he pulls her into a tight hug. "It'll be okay, Sam. 'Cause you'll always stay in touch with Carly and you'll always have me.

"It won't be the same," she mumbles into his shirt, "It'll never be."

To that comment, Freddie has no reply so instead, he kisses her temple and hugs her tighter, whispering, "I know..."

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That day after graduation, something was off. Sam and Freddie visited Gibby and Spencer and then ended up spending the rest of the day together. It was different. It was as if they knew something over the past few months that had blossomed between them was about to end though it wasn't spoken about formally. Carly's departure still left a gaping hole in both of their hearts. That night, they climbed an all too familiar hill and set out a blanket to look at the stars. They cuddled and made small talk but neither wanted to admit that strange feeling.

As the clock struck midnight, they began to gather up their stuff and descend the hill. At the bottom, Freddie stop them. He sets the stuff down and takes Sam's hands in his own. "I love you, Sam, and I'll always love you no matter what."

She leans in a joins their lips in a slow, passionate kiss. "I love you too. No matter what."

Then, they walk the rest of the way home with interlaced hands.

Something was going to change soon, they both knew.

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The next morning when Freddie woke up, he squints as he opens his eyes, and his hands come up to his eyes to rub the sleep out of them. Registering his surroundings, he looks to his side table to grab his phone when he sees a paper with perfectly scrawled handwriting on it under his phone. Furrowing his eyebrows, he reaches for it, though somehow he feels the dread in the pit of his stomach which hinted that he knew exactly what the letter was from.

_Dear Freddie,_

_To be honest, this letter will sound nothing like me and I suppose that's the way it's meant to be. Why do I have feeling that you knew this would be happening? Maybe it's because I've let you know me so well these past few months. But as I'm writing this, I feel a true sense of sorrowfulness. I'm leaving, Freddie. I'm sorry. I don't know where I'm going or even when I'll be there. Go wherever the wind takes me, I guess. Staying in Seattle right now is too painful. Everywhere is a memory that hurts to remember. Thank you though. Thank you for keeping me together after Carly left even when you were hurting yourself. Thank you for giving me some of the affection that I had been lacking ever since I was born. But I really do need to get away right now and take my own toll on life. I don't know when or even if I'll ever be back but I hope you know that you'll always have a space in my heart. Even if years from now if you meet a nice girl and I meet a nice guy and we end up getting married. But maybe, after I've stopped hurting, I'll come back and fate will let our paths cross again and maybe we can try at the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing again. Who knows what'll happen years from now? I do hope we always keep in touch, Freddie. I'm always just a text, phone call, or video-chat away. I think we both knew this was coming and the only reason why I didn't come to personally say goodbye is because I know it would have hurt so much that it would have stopped me from leaving and I couldn't do that. I know in my heart that I haveto leave Seattle for a little while. I hope you can forgive me and good luck in college. I know you'll soon make a ton of new (geeky) friends and the loneliness that Carly and I caused you will fade. Send Spencer and Gibby my love. Don't miss me too much. I love you._

_Your friend, enemy, and lover, _

_Sam_

Freddie folds the letter and walking to his window, he smiles sadly as he hears the purr of engines in the roads beneath him, knowing Sam was one of them out there. A lone year slips down his face but he quickly wipes it away. It was time to face the world on his own and deep in his heart, he knew he would be okay. Because, one day, the iCarly gang would be together again.

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**A/N: I feel like we could have gotten more closure but I suppose a couple of loose end were purposely left to keep us wondering. I feel like this story is a closure for me, and hopefully some of you out there. **


End file.
